How to be the bigger person



Too many people, especially in the business world think it’s all about being hard, tough, ambitious, or having grit and reacting with vengeance. While some of those things may be valuable, it’s not where we’re lacking as a collective. We have the “hard things” down. 

What we’re lacking is in the micro moments. It’s in showing yourself some grace when things don’t go your way. It’s in forgiving that difficult colleague, it’s in limiting time with the friend that does not make you feel your best, it’s in taking full accountability in life and not blame your family or relatives for your faults, it’s in looking past people who have boo-ed you. All these micro moments, are are a genuine unlock to macro happiness. 

Time and again, I find myself answering this big question for you all–How to be the bigger person? 

So many of you right now – in this exact second – are unhappy because you’re pointing fingers, and feeling a lack of control as a result. The negativity around you leads to so much bad. If we can prop up positivity instead of shying away from it, all of us will be happier.

There are ton of people who boo-ed me along the way, who didn’t want me to succeed. Long before the world knew me as GaryVee, there was a wine supplier who shit on me so heavy, undermined me as a human being with straight lies. I went to event in NYC to taste his wine and he said “get the f*ck out of here…you’re everything that is wrong with the wine business.”  It was probably the most humiliating experience for me as a human, ever…and then, not too long after that, when Wine Library TV had blown up all over the Internet, he sent me an email…acted like none of that ever happened and asked to be on my show seeking exposure for his brand…

…and you know what I said? I said YES! It’s because I was raised to disproportionately triple down on choosing happiness and inner peace that lead me to being the bigger person. The answer is always in knowing that being the bigger person is always the right thing. 


To be clear, this just isn’t about deploying kindness and forgiveness into the most drastic scenarios or the key moments of your life. It’s about having that mindset about even the tiniest of things in everyday life. 

Here’s a small example to explain that:

In our day to day, there’s gonna be scenarios where someone might hurt your feelings or do something you’re not happy about. In those environments, you’ll be likely to do something nasty back to them…what I want for you is to do the opposite, that’s what I want.

I want you to have compassion and empathy for them when they expect you to be nasty. You know why? Hurt people, hurt people!

When someone is not nice, it’s because they’re hurting, which is why you should be double nice to them and see what happens. 


@garyveeWhen you get “hate,” it’s easy to spit back more hate.. try doing the reverse. Spit back love in the face of hate. That’s how you turn this sh*t around!!♬ original sound – Gary Vaynerchuk
Holding that negativity is stopping you from what you actually want to make happen and when you flip that, you’re not only the bigger person, you’re also a happier person who’s figured out life in a way that you’re less likely to fall prey to negativity. 


Being the bigger person is always cool, it’s always right! We need to bring that mindset into our lives in a conscious manner so we collectively live more joyful lives. Try it to see what happens. 

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